My Host Family

As time goes on and life here begins to normalize, with the once unfamiliar becoming familiar, it becomes more difficult to approach writing blogs. This time, I figured I would just write a little more describing my host family. The Abdou family, whose compound I live in, is compromised of the Togolese individuals that I spend the most time with, rely on the most, and who will undoubtedly be some of the most important people during the rest of my service. Over the past couple months, I’ve been getting to know each member and have gotten a feel for the family dynamic. I’ve spent a lot of time just hanging out in my compound with whoever is around, which actually counts as “work” since it’s fulfilling the second goal of cultural exchange; Peace Corps is pretty cool that way. Anyways, I’ll just write a little bit about each person.

Tchirifou: He is my host dad. He is a farmer, like pretty much everyone in my village, and grows everything from cotton to corn to sorghum, along with working in the gardens during hot season. He also owns all the animals in my compound, so he’s not doing too bad for himself. He is one of two people in my compound who speaks French since he went to primary school, so I rely a lot on him to communicate. He’s been incredibly helpful since my arrival, even helping to organize the labor for my porch to get built, which was accomplished in two days, a feat that is pretty impressive here. He also motoed (we’ve created that verb to refer to riding on motorcycles) out to another volunteer’s house to get me a thermometer when mine broke while I was really sick. I know that I can always rely on him to help me out, which is really reassuring. He also loves to explain things to me and answer any of my questions, like when I asked why a dead bat carcass was being hung out in front of our house- apparently it is some sort of animist house protection tradition. He always starts his responses with “Nous les africains” (we, the Africans) or “Nous, les noirs” (we, the blacks) when he explains why something is done. However, I know that things are more nuanced than, for example, the explanation he gave that all Africans or all “blacks” hang dead bat carcasses up to protect the home, but chatting with him is always interesting.

Miamenutu: She is my host dad’s first wife. She doesn’t speak French, so our communication is based on the few French words she knows, the little Anofo I know, and hand gestures. However, one communication that we’ve gotten down pretty well is that when I bring back gari, oil, tomatoes, and beans from the market, she will make an awesome beans and gari meal for the family that I get to stuff my face with. I also am convinced that she has a secret soft spot for dogs, because she always seems to be watching out for Jeeves. She is the one who always makes sure he eats everyday and she’ll sneak him some higher quality stuff, like rice with sauce, that the others wouldn’t want to waste on a dog.

Salamatu: She is my host dad’s second wife. She is probably about 18 or 19 and she hasn’t had any kids yet, which is why the feticheur said she couldn’t eat poultry until she got pregnant. I really like Salam, and she always has a really big, warm smile, but again, she doesn’t speak French, so that limits our communication. Whenever she sees me, she yells really loud in a upbeat tone, “Madame Samira”, so I decided to give her an American name and I yell back, “Mrs. Sally”, which she thinks is really funny. We play the pointing game a lot where I point to something and say the word in English and she says it in Anofo and then we each repeat after each other, but I still really wish we could have a real conversation, because I feel like she has so much to say. She even told my host dad to translate to me that if she spoke French she would tell me everything, but that she had to work in the fields and couldn’t go to school, so I know the sentiment of wanting to be able to have a real conversation is shared.

Barila: She is my oldest host sister and is the same age as Salamatu. Barila did go to school until middle school, so she does speak French, which is really nice since she’s always around my host moms so she can always translate for them. Barila definitely has a rebellious side to her and she often gets yelled back for coming back after dark from the market. My host dad says she’s going to be married soon, but I hope she doesn’t get married during my service, because I really like having her around.

Hadidia: She is my little sister who is about five. Apparently next year she’s going to start going to school and my host dad is planning to send her to Lome to stay with family and go to the better schools there. There is already a sister I have never met who is in Lome doing the same thing, so I’m glad to see my host dad values his daughters’ getting an education. Hadidia is really shy and doesn’t talk to me much. When I talk to her she usually just smiles sheepishly and doesn’t say anything. Sometimes when her friends are over, they get more mischievous and brave and peak into my windows, which I really don’t like, so I scare them by going outside and yelling at them, which is totally acceptable for me to do here.

Zakia: She is my youngest sister and is about 2 years old. When I first arrived, she was terrified of me and tried to protect herself when I approached by hitting me with a spoon. Now, she isn’t scared of me anymore. However, she always manages to be incredibly dirty, with food, soot, and god knows what else all over her, so I only really play with her right after she gets her bath. Otherwise I make faces at her from a distance. She was really scared of Jeeves when I first brought him home, but now she’s warming up to him. I’m determined for her to love him since she’s young enough to not have the idea that dogs aren’t fun to play with ingrained her head. Already, she mimics me and comes up to pet him when I am, so I’ve been showing her how to pet him gently and softly. Of course Jeeves loves playing with her and licking her since she’s always covered in something yummy for him.

Amidu: He is not in the immediate family but is somehow related to my host dad. Amidu is about 15 and he takes care of all the compound animals, especially the cows. He doesn’t go to school, and therefore doesn’t speak French, and I think he was sent here by his family to be taken care in exchange for him working for my host dad. When I can’t find Jeeves, Amidu will go out looking for him for me and he always manages to find him and bring him back. However, he’s also the one who beat Jeeves when Jeeves tried to steal a baby chick. It was really painful for me, but I couldn’t get mad, because Jeeves was trying to eat their livelihood. I think he also learned his lesson, because he’s hasn’t tried to pick up any chicks since then.

Anyways, so that’s my host family. My family is actually pretty well of by village standards. At first glance, our compound looks like the stereotypically example of African "poverty" you would see on TV, with no electricity or running water, mud walls, open fires for cooking, naked children, and animals living right next to people, but upon closer look, I live with a fairly well-off village family. This is determined by the fact that they have lots of animals (which means more money and more nutritious food), including highly valued bulls, my host dad has a moto, they have a pit latrine, they have the money and family ties to send two daughters to Lome for school, and they had an unoccupied two room house in their compound that they could afford to let a foreigner stay in for two years.

Other than getting to know my host family better, things are moving along. Harmattan seems to be winding down, sadly, and the temperature is starting to heat up. In two weeks I’m travelling south to go to another week of training and also to pick up Nick who is visiting, so life is pretty good right now!! I hope all is going well at home in the cold winter!!!