Back to Togo

I’ve been back in Togo for about a week now and I’ll admit coming back from America wasn’t the easiest thing. When I arrived in my village and entered my house with fresh, American eyes, I couldn’t really believe that this is where I’d lived for over a year. The floor was covered in dust, cobwebs were everywhere, and the space seemed somehow smaller. Waking up the following morning to the myriad of noises that begin each day at about 5am in my Togolese village (roosters crowing, guinea fowl on my tin roof, sweeping, babies crying, loud Anofo greetings, pots clanging, and more), I definitely thought to myself: not this again. However, I got myself out of bed, made some breakfast, greeted my host family, and biked to Mango to pick up food and supplies at the market. Once I was out biking, I started to feel better. It was nice to be getting exercise after days of travel, the women I buy from at the market all greeted me warmly and enthusiastically, and by the time I was heading back to Magna, things started to feel normal again. That day, I had given money to one of my host moms to buy food at the market for my favorite Togolese meal (beans and gari) and so at night, lit up by a full moon, I sat around with my host family eating with my hands from a communal bowl and had that reassuring feeling that everything was going to be alright.

Overall, my trip home was filled with that same feeling of reassurance. After being away for 15 months, America seemed like a far-away dreamland that I wasn’t really a part of anymore. Landing in JFK made my stomach flip and I had to hold back tears while getting my passport stamped. While waiting for my connecting flight to Boston, I stood in front of the menu of one of the Delta terminal’s 3 Starbucks for about 15 minutes before deciding on a pumpkin latte just because it sounded Christmasy, American, and too fancy for Togo. Arriving back to my home in Brookline was like living out one of the many dreams I had of coming home and my first hot shower was glorious. Seeing friends and family over the next 3 weeks was so great and the best part was how normal it was to see everyone, like I had only been gone a month, not 15. Overall, it was way easier than I had expected to just jump back into my American life. It was reassuring that after so long I could come home and be so at ease. After a few days, Togo seemed so far away and I could understand why returned volunteers always say that after being home a short time their Peace Corps service starts to feel like the dream. Just like living in Togo gave me a new perspective on life in America, being at home gave me a new perspective on my Peace Corps service. In Peace Corps, the only other Americans you really interact with are other Peace Corps Volunteers. This causes us to lose site of the uniqueness of what we’re doing and instead we just compare ourselves to each other and feel frustrated that we aren’t integrating enough into our communities or working hard enough to pursue projects. After talking to my friends about their lives and various reasons for dissatisfaction with their jobs and having to explain my own life and work, I appreciated more being a Peace Corps Volunteer and having the freedom and autonomy to pursue whatever I’m interested in. Although I’ve had many failures, frustrations, and days of inaction, I have been involved in projects that I’ve learned a lot from and am proud of (primarily my work with the Pathways scholarship program and on the girl’s empowerment camp in Mango- I also finally got funding for my village well project, which, when completed, will be a big accomplishment). So, while leaving home was sad, I was able to come back to Togo reassured that my life in America is still there for me and that I do have projects and people I care about enough here in Togo to give me a good reason to come back for these last 10 months.

So, here I am, back in Togo. Once again, I’m sweaty, dirty, and wearing an outfit made from fabric of clashing colors and patterns that would make me look like a clown in America. Jeeves, thankfully, did well during my absence and we have been playing, cuddling, and going on runs and walks since I got back. Apparently, he went on a bit of a hunger strike the first days I was gone because my host family wasn’t putting milk powder in his food like I do, but he got over being spoiled and now is back to gulfing down plain pate (the Togolese corn-based staple) like a normal village dog. My host family was excited for their gifts. I distributed earrings, candy, calendars, and printed pictures I’d taken of the family. The calendars were the biggest hit, they had scenic pictures from America and around the world that my host dad had me explain to him in detail, and they have already been mounted on the mud walls of the various compound huts. I also brought back some French-English dictionaries for students I work with. About 2 months ago, I was helping a student with his English homework and when he was struggling with words, I told him he should look them up in a dictionary. However, the second I said it, I realized that, of course, he probably didn’t have a dictionary since Togolese schools don’t give out books and most students can’t afford them. This was, in fact, the case. I can’t imagine trying to learn another language without having a means to look up words and translations, so I brought back some French-English dictionaries and the students were thrilled.

Otherwise, things are basically the same here. Almost all the crops have been harvested; it seems like only cotton remains to be picked. Harmattan is still here, so, although it’s still hot during the day, I’m able to sleep well at night with temperatures in the 60s. Hot season will be here in about a month and a half, which I’m dreading, but for now, I’m trying to enjoy being somewhat comfortable during the day. In the next few months, we’ll be constructing a new well in the village and I will also be participating in a women’s empowerment conference for the region where I, along with several other volunteers, will organize trainings for women from various villages on nutrition, money-management, income generating activities, sexual health, and a variety of other topics that promote healthy lifestyles. This project actually still needs funding, so if you’re interested, you can donate through this link: https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=693-389. This weekend my good friend Molly, who is a PCV in Morocco, is visiting me, so that’s another thing I’m looking forward to! Other than that, I’m just getting back into the slow pace of life here after my busy trip home. It was nice seeing so many of you in the States and I hope that winter actually brings snow to you soon (at least for those of you who want it)!